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The Brown Noser

Devastating CC Strike Leaves Thousands Of Students Without Awkward Cold Pizza Party On The First Floor Lounge

Published Friday, September 27th, 2024

Sources report that the recent Community Coordinator strike has left thousands of incoming and returning students without an awkward cold pizza party on the first floor lounge.

“This is a tragic time for all of us residents,” said first-year Alexa Clyne, wiping her tears away as the strike had left her entire floor without a GroupMe chat. “Why would ResLife do this to us? How are we supposed to move forward as a group of random roommates without the one event that unifies us all – our first week pizza party at the first floor lounge?”

According to several bystanders, the absence of this critical event had left a multitude of residents without painful small-talk interactions for a slice of cold pizza.

“Pizza was the one thing I was looking forward to sharing with my floormates as we nervously and excitedly get to know one another,” continued Clyne, saddened by the fact that she will never get to attend a mandatory floor meeting to go over the Emergency Evacuation Procedures In The Event of a Fire or Fire Alarm. “Like, way to go ResLife! You ruined my life and now I have nothing to look forward to.”

At press time, the catastrophic TA strike left hundreds of students without their Canvas discussion post grade.

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