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The Brown Noser

Dinner Plans Thwarted By Giant Cookie

Published Friday, March 14th, 2025

According to sources, a local student’s dinner plans have been entirely thwarted by a giant cookie.

“I mean, it was like 4pm, and I was really hungry,” said Daniel Bennett, who had just devoured a chocolate chip cookie as large as his face. “But now I’m not hungry at all.”

“I don’t know what’s up with this guy,” said Bennett’s friend Tyler, who had agreed to meet him at the Ratty at 7pm. “He just texted me to ask if we can move dinner to 10pm.”

“Oh, that thing was mighty deceptive,” recalled Bennett after consuming his next five days’ recommended sugar intake in one cookie. “I guess I’ll just have to go to Jo’s tonight.”

At press time, Bennett’s plan for late-night Jo’s was thwarted by an ill-advised smoothie.