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The Brown Noser

Disney Channel Protagonist Declares Inevitability of Barf After Parents Share Single, Chaste Kiss

Published Friday, May 12th, 2023

In a stunning display of emotional immaturity, Maisie McDoogle, the tween protagonist of the hit Disney show, “Maisie Makes Waves”, proclaimed that she was “totally gonna barf chunks” after her mother and father shared a tight lipped, millisecond long kiss.

“I was like totally grossed out beyond,” Maisie said, as she clutched her stomach until the disembodied laugh track faded out. “I think I might literally lose my flipping lunch, it was so grosstastic”.

“I actually don’t think parents should be allowed to touch each other at all,” Maisie, who clearly has no clue how she came to be on this earth said, “like, why are they kissing? Don’t they know that it’s gonna make me spew?”

“It was a total yuckfest to the extreme. Like, so flipping grody,” she continued reflecting on the brief, dry kiss, “they better not do it again, otherwise I might be on the fast train to yarf town, if you know what I mean.“

At press time, Maisie was trying to ask out the most popular boy at school, not knowing that he had a totally dorky identical twin.

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