A closer look at a local dorm’s GroupMe revealed that the contents of the group chat to consist solely of passive aggressive messages about the status of the washing and drying machines.
“hey guys! i know you guys are really busy with midterm season right now but i would really appreciate it if everyone could recognize that you are disrupting my gcal by not taking your laundry load out on time thanks :)” read a message from frazzled student Mary Vanderhougthen ’25. While cleaning out the lint trap and sighing, she continued, “hi y’all! dryer 28 is done! tip for next time: you can set a timer for when your clothes are done to make sure that we are valuing everyone’s time!”
“hope everyone’s having a good week! washer 9 has been finished for 45 seconds! could someone pls take your laundry :)” typed Mary who had actually already taken the liberty of carefully dumping their floormate’s clean clothes on the floor. “hi friends, i think we should have a talk about being considerate to our fellow community members. i’ve had to remove someone else’s laundry every time i want to use the washer this semester. not a big deal! just wanted to make sure we’re all on the same page about using shared community resources and not wasting each other’s time :)"
At press time, a community coordinator sent a non-laundry related message that was ignored by absolutely everyone.