Sources at a crowded Halloween party in the basement of Caswell confirm that the event is only really scary in a fire-safety kind of way.
“No one here is dressed as anything spooky and the only decoration here
is a LED strip light set to orange,” said sophomore Oren Baker, who wasn’t scared by the costumes or music, but more so that if there were to be a fire, very few people would be able to make it out alive. “We’re practically shoulder to shoulder down here and the stairway can fit a single file line. And that’s not even mentioning that someone unscrewed the smoke detector so people
could pass around a joint. If the organizers of the party were trying to scare me with the sheer amount of fire hazards, then I got to hand it to them, I am pretty spooked.”
At press time, a two-person horse costume is only scary in a suffocation risk kind of way.

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