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The Brown Noser

Drunk Friend Announces Plans To Climb That Tree

Published Friday, September 13th, 2019

Addressing a crowd outside a large oak tree on Wriston Quad, drunk Sophomore Alex Sandro announced his intention to climb that tree. “I’m gonna do it!” Sandro shouted, while noticeably swaying on the spot. “That one over there. It looks big but I can totally do it. Sarah! Sarah! Take a photo of me in this tree, Sarah! Yeah, right up here!” At press time, Sandro released a statement apologizing to the DPS officers forced to remove him from the tree.

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