Glancing back and forth between his black ‘Led Zepplin Over Europe 1980’ T-shirt with the glowing wizard and his tie-dye ‘Jimmy Page sitting on a motorcycle’ T-shirt, Matt Giggins struggled to decide whether he would prefer to be swimming or drowning in poonany at Eric’s house party later tonight.
“I’m leaning towards ‘Over Europe,’” said Giggins. ”That way, I’ll have like a nice chill evening and only bring back a serious fan-girl or two.”
“Or am I up for a big Jimmy Page night?” he added.
Giggins told reporters he last wore his Jimmy Page T-shirt to Garrett’s birthday dinner at Chili’s, during which he nearly suffocated with all the waitresses trying to get on his nuts.
“I don’t know. I’m pretty tired. Maybe I should just go with ‘Over Europe,’” said Giggins. “Plus, who’s even going to be at Eric’s? If the girls won’t be smoking hot, I’m not going waste Jimmy Page on just any bunch of uggos.”
Giggins reported that he purchased both T-shirts at the mall four summers ago from a checkout lady who could barely keep her pants on.
“Maybe I should go with my Radiohead Drawn-Guy-Screaming shirt,” continued Giggins. “At least my friends would have a chance at finding a girl.”
“Actually I’m feeling pretty tired. I think I’ll just stay home and take a bath,” added Giggins, changing into his light-beige Simon and Garfunkel T-shirt.