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Your dumb friend lost a game of Clue by foolishly guessing Colonel Mustard committed the murder in the Billiard Room with the wrench.
“You’re actually so dumb,” called out Jordan Hull to his friend who hadn’t thought to utilize a matrix system to record information and make key logical deductions throughout the game. “Like, I do think less of you now. I mean, it literally could not have been the wrench because last turn, Jeremy suspected it was Miss Peacock with the wrench in the Conservatory and Leo showed him a card. If my notes are correct, you literally have the conservatory and Kyle has Miss Peacock, so it was pretty fucking obvious that Leo has the wrench in his hand.”
“I’m not sure if, in good conscience, I can even invite you to another board game night,” shrieked Hull, who spent the game diligently scribbling notes on his paper every time any player said literally anything. “Frankly, your guess was rash and impulsive and beyond irresponsible. We know nothing about the state of the Dining Room and the Hall, which haven’t been mentioned. So it’s beyond me how you could just jump to the conclusion that the murder took place in the Billiard Room. You’re actually so dumb. I know I already said that, but it’s worth re-emphasizing.”
At press time, your money-obsessed friend was attempting to make you Venmo him actual money when you landed on his Boardwalk property with hotels.
