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The Brown Noser

Endangered Animal Can’t Help But Love The Attention

Published Friday, February 4th, 2022

A Sumatran Rhinoceros, part of a species recently labeled “critically endangered” by the International Union for the Conservation of Nature, can’t help but love all the new attention he’s been getting lately. “Ever since I became endangered everyone has become straight-up obsessed with me and I can’t get enough,” said the rhinoceros, whose species has dwindled to under 80 in the wild. “Sure, I’m sad about the loss of my habitat, but you can’t deny the upside. I mean, hello, I’m practically a celebrity! Apparently, I’m getting a two-page spread in National Geographic this month, and after that, the WWF is going to put me on a t-shirt! A rhino could get used to this.” By contrast, ever since his species was removed from the endangered species list, a grey wolf is starting to feel like a washed-up has-been.

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