In a recent interaction with your English professor, he really encouraged you to compare the heartbreaking story about your grandma’s battle with a terminal illness to that tree stump over there.

“You need to reach within and use the astonishing beauty of nature as a metaphor for the tragedies in our calamitous lives,” said professor Rudolph Lester, getting emotional over how similar your dog’s passing was to the spilled drink on the sidewalk. “Be bold and courageous with your writing. Didion would most definitely find a prudent way to bring life to that tree stump.”

“It’s so sad when you think about it,” continued Lester, feeling overwhelmed by the resemblance between your lost wallet and the abandoned umbrella at that stand. “The tree, so beautiful and refined, was probably at the peak of its elegance when it was merely reduced to a stump. There has got to be a similarity there with your grandma, don’t you think?”

At press time, your History lecturer was passionately urging you to draw connections between the political turmoil of the past and the fight you just had with your roommates.

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