Sunday, September 25, 2022
Partly Cloudy icon Partly Cloudy, 64°

The Brown Noser

Estate Sale Advertising Gorgeous Antique Bed Frame Great-Grandma Just Died On Last Week

Published Friday, September 16th, 2022

Sophia Nolan, host of a local estate sale, is reportedly advertising the vintage mahogany bed frame where her great-grandmother died just days before.

“It’s a really great piece dating back to the fifties,” said Nolan, gesturing to the bed where, forty-eight hours earlier, her great-grandmother clutched her hand and took her last breath. “Super sturdy, too!”

Shoppers at the estate sale were impressed with the classic beauty of the bed frame and inspired by its rich history, which included over a decade of continual use by the bedridden elder.

“You can feel its wisdom, you know? And the woodwork is just scrumptious!” Nolan said of the frame as an interested customer lay spread-eagle on the bed’s sheets, which had possibly been washed in the time since Great-Grandma passed. “You can’t buy this kind of authenticity at Ikea.”

“This bed is just wonderful,” Nolan continued, surreptitiously kicking a stray bedpan out of sight. “I hope its new family treats it just as lovingly.”

At press time, teenagers were scavenging through Great-Grandma’s dusty lingerie.

Article tools

Search The Brown Noser

  • Loading…