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The Brown Noser

Famed Tight Rope Walker Announces Plan to Walk Across Even Tighter Rope

Published Friday, September 6th, 2013

Saying he’s ready to take on his most difficult challenge yet, renowned tight rope walker Slade Kilgore announced in a press conference Tuesday that he was planning on walking across an even tighter rope.

“This will be the tightest rope I’ve ever walked across,” said Kilgore. “Is it crazy? Yeah, it’s a little crazy, but I know I can do this.” Kilgore told reporters that he had been on a strict fitness regimen for the past six months to prepare for the event. Kilgore’s trainer, Brian Finn, confirmed that Kilgore has been slowly ramping up the tightness of the ropes he walks and is now routinely walking across ropes of “unprecedented tightness.”

ESPN’s Alex Beiderman said of the announcement, “This is the most exciting tightrope event since Kilgore’s tight string walking stunt two years ago. No one in tightrope walking today can touch Kilgore.” ESPN will be covering the historic event live, including an exclusive “Rope Cam” and three hours of tightrope analysis leading up to Kilgore’s walk.

In his closing statements, Kilgore revealed that the rope he would be using would be the ropiest rope anyone had ever walked on.

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