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The Brown Noser

Fifth Grade Teacher's Mnemonic Bit Of A Stretch

Published Tuesday, October 6th, 2015

Students at Wilshire Elementary School report that their teacher’s trick for remembering the planets of the solar system doesn’t really work. The mnemonic “Most Villains Engage Mostly Jovial Students Using Nice” is fraught with problems according to those in Mr. Thompson’s fifth grade science class.

“It’s pretty confusing that it’s not a complete sentence,” said student Sebastian Berg. “I guess Pluto was a planet when he came up with it, and then he just took it away without adjusting the rest of the phrase.”

“The word ‘most’ really shouldn’t pop up twice,” continued Berg. “The meaning of the whole thing is so unclear. I think the idea behind it is that these villains are trying to engage students by sweet-talking them or something. Are the students supposed to be us? Is Mr. Thompson a villain?”

Other members of the class report that they appreciate Mr. Thompson’s effort. However, they would like the chance to give him some feedback to prevent future occurrences of last week’s debacle when he introduced his trick to remembering the great lakes “Steve Martin Hates Ed O’Neil” even though students already knew the popular “HOMES” acronym.

“To be honest, the solar system mnemonic is probably one of his better ones,” student Stephanie Friedman admitted. “For the phases of cell division, he suggested ‘Indefinitely, Please, Make A Thing.’ He insisted on putting commas in as if that would make it any clearer. Plus, it’s weirdly aggressive.”

As of press time, students were complaining about another bewildering mnemonic Mr. Thompson had just unveiled for remembering the colors of the rainbow: “Roy G. Biv.”

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