Following the thousands of Fourth of July celebrations that took place this Wednesday, fireworks across the nation reported that they really wish you would stop staring at them. “Come on, have some decency people,” the fireworks bashfully complained after a busy Independence Day. “When we show up, people forget all their basic manners. They point their fingers, whisper to each other, and even take pictures. They don’t even try to be sneaky about it. Of course all that gawking is going to make us self-conscious!” At press time, the fireworks had realized that people in airplanes were also staring.

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