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The Brown Noser

Four-Year-Old Torn Between Becoming Train Kid Or Dinosaur Kid

Published Friday, October 26th, 2018

Sources report that four-year-old Mikey Cassmeier has been struggling to decide whether he wants to become a train kid or a dinosaur kid. Cassmeier, on the cusp of developing a distinct personality, is torn between toting a plastic train everywhere he goes or, alternatively, constantly lugging around a small brontosaurus figurine.

“Trains are cool,” Cassmeier reported, “and dinosaurs are also cool. My friend Simon is a dinosaur kid and I really like his T-rex picture books. But my brother Sam is a train kid and he can make his toy trains go choo-choo down the little track, which I like.”

“This is a big decision,” Cassmeier stressed. “Do I want train-themed birthday parties or dinosaur-themed birthday parties? Do I want my pajamas to have little cabooses on them or pterodactyls? Every TV show I watch will have to be about either trains or dinosaurs, and I’m not ready to commit to either yet.”

At press time, Cassmeier was open to considering race cars as well.

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