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The Brown Noser

Freshman In Bagel Gourmet Doing Everything Wrong

Published Friday, September 13th, 2019

Holding up a growing line last Tuesday as she failed to recognize the subtleties of ordering at the popular student breakfast spot, freshman Shanice Weber was spotted doing everything wrong in Bagel Gourmet.

“Right off the bat, she stood in the pay line to order her bagel,” BG regular Terry Mann recalled of Weber’s maiden trip to the bagel shop. “She didn’t realize until the employee redirected her. Then she had to ask what each individual bagel in the case was because she couldn’t identify them by looks alone. Rookie mistakes, really.”

“After that, she tried to order coffee from the same person who took her bagel order,” he continued, shaking his head at Weber’s humiliating errors. “Everyone knows you do that at the register. Super embarrassing for her.”

“And she was unaware of the card minimum and clearly didn’t know that you’re supposed to buy a banana to edge it over $5.00. I mean, that’s the oldest trick in the book. She has her work cut out for her.”

“Oh, and as she was leaving she asked her friend why there was Mexican food on the menu. Soon she’ll learn that we just don’t question that.”

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