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Jacob Woodley, the sole friend with a Samsung in a group of iPhone users, has really been fucking up the whole group chat.
“I’ve had it up to here with Jacob with his Samsung bullshit,” fumed Cassie Russell, squinting at a photo which had been reduced in quality by 400% because of the presence of a Samsung user in the group chat. “We had eight iPhone users in this group chat, and everything was fine. We could add funny stickers to texts and play GamePigeon with each other. But then Jacob had to join and fuck up the whole group chat,” ranted Russell, considering removing Jacob from the chat but realizing that the mere presence of a Samsung user made it somehow impossible to remove members. “Damn you and your stubborn technology, Jacob!”
“Oops, I made a typo in my last message. I’ll just edit it—” said Russell, stopping in her tracks upon realizing that Jacob’s membership in the chat had crippled half of the group chat’s original functionality. “Okay, this has gone too far. I’m gonna text the group and demand that Jacob gets an iPhone. And I’ll send the message with a slam effect so Jacob knows I’m serious,” declared Russell, unaware that Jacob would see an unexciting text indicating Russell’s message was sent with a slam effect rather than the slam effect itself. “Yeah, that’ll show him.”
At press time, Jacob was accusing his friends of classism despite owning a brand-new 512GB AI-Enhanced Galaxy Z Fold6 with a premium extended warranty.
