Sources indicate that a recent office-wide email purporting to be a “friendly reminder” was in fact not very friendly.
“I hope this email finds you well,” read the email, whose author actually did not give a damn if they found everyone well. “Please stop leaving your leftovers, especially sausage, in the break room fridge for more than two weeks. It has acquired a certain smell. This probably does not apply to most of you, because frankly, I know it’s largely the doing of one person, whom I won’t name.”
The email proceeded to unsubtly allude to the identity of this person, who was definitely Stanisław.
“It is important we practice respectful use of the communal spaces and equipment,” the email continued, “and if this situation continues, we may need to start having some conversations.” These, in fact, would not be conversations, but one-sided reprimands.
At press time, a follow-up email included bold, underlined and highlighted text.

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