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An off-campus household filled with gay people is falling apart after conflict broke out over six pairs of identical Doc Martens in the communal shoe rack.
“I was already running late to class this morning, and what do I see but Sophia grabbing MY Docs out of the shoe rack?” grumbled Tristan Clements, one of a seven-person gay friend group inhabiting a very tense house on Governor Street. “Get it together, Sophia, I know we all love to rock the classic Doc Martens 1460s, but can we please try to respect the shoe rack hierarchy? My shelf has always been the second one from the top.”
“I was only gonna wear Tristan’s Docs for my morning class,” argued housemate Sophia Sledge, furiously texting to the “LGBT-Cuties” group chat that something has to change about this shoe rack situation. “And it’s only because Cleo got mine muddy when they wore them last night because they are the worst at telling whose Docs are whose. One of the little yellow stitches on my pair is loose. Like, it could not be easier to distinguish.”
“Well, now my whole day is thrown off,” complained Clements, scanning amidst the conglomeration of indistinguishable black boots for an alternate pair that would complement their long skirt. “I don’t know how this house can move forward with all this Doc drama. I really don’t.”
At press time, a house full of gym bros was coming to blows after mixing up their identical jugs of protein powder in the kitchen.
