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The Brown Noser

Girl Commenting On Dear Blueno Relationship Post Wants Everyone To Know She Fucks

Published Friday, September 25th, 2020

According to a recent post on Dear Blueno, frequent commenter Ella McCormick ’22 wants everyone to know she fucks. An anonymous post seeking advice about a struggling long-term relationship gave McCormick a convenient platform to broadcast the nature of her sex life to the Brown community.

“Great question, OP,” McCormick commented, preparing to announce not only the fact that she fucks, but the frequency with which she does so. “I feel you — I was in a relationship last year where we went from having sex every day to just three or four times a week! Definitely hard to adjust to.”

The comment, which erased any doubts that McCormick reliably gets it on, didn’t stop there.

“Speaking from personal experience, sex can be such an important part of relationships,” McCormick continued, just so everyone was on the same page regarding whether or not she gets freaky on a regular basis. “And it can be difficult to navigate the conversations surrounding it!”

“I make sure to have an open conversation with each and every one of my sexual partners to make sure we’re communicating in a productive way,” McCormick concluded for good measure, implying to Dear Blueno’s 4000 followers that she’s done the deed with not only one, but multiple people. “Feel free to message me if you have more questions!”

At press time, McCormick was selling old jeans on Brown Buying and Selling and making it super clear she’s a size OO.

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