Ordering a luxurious meal of only the finest of epicurean delights, Leslie Gardener ‘24 is getting a Blue Room sandwich with goat cheese and fig spread as though she were the hedonistic Roman emperor Caligula. “I’ll get a ciabatta roll with goat cheese, fig spread, prosciutto, and olive oil,” commanded the sophomore and depraved libertine as though she were the debauched emperor of Rome at a lurid orgy of the senses, decadently ringing a little bell to command a lowly peon to bring imported meats and cheeses to her drunken bacchanal. “I’ll also get a muffin. Thank you!” At press time, Gardener only ate half the sandwich, like a rich baroness for whom money is no object.

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