Tuesday, November 13, 2018
Partly Cloudy icon Partly Cloudy, 64°

The Brown Noser

God Relieved No One Has Noticed Extra Planet He Created While Blackout Drunk

Published Friday, April 20th, 2018

After a wild night He can’t remember, God was reportedly relieved no one has noticed the planet He created while absolutely hammered.

“I can’t believe I just let it exist like that,” God said while holding a bottle of Pedialyte. “I’m gonna be in deep shit if someone finds out about this.”

According to God, the planet is positioned squarely in the center of the Asteroid Belt and is just a large, misshapen clump of rock and ice debris. The Supreme Creator of the Universe claimed that an incident like this is unusual.

“I’ve woken up and noticed that I made a bunch of weird animals the night before,” God said as He took a handful of Advil, “But I can usually just put them on Madagascar or at the bottom of the ocean and totally forget about it. This is different. I’m lucky that no random scientist has spotted it."

At press time, God planned to “throw the thing into the Sun.”

Article tools

Search The Brown Noser

  • Loading…