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The Brown Noser

Golden Retriever Wearing Bandanna Must Belong to Rich Family

Published Friday, November 4th, 2016

Sources report that the golden retriever bounding across the park looking healthy and clean and wearing a crisp red bandanna must belong to a rich family. “I don’t know who owns that dog, but I do know they’re loaded,” said Len Garcia, a jogger in the park. “If I had to guess I would say that dog’s name is Hunter. Or maybe Dakota.”

The dog was reported to be running around the park with its coat looking clean and shiny, and responding adeptly to the commands of his owners, who are probably rich. “I’ve never seen a dog that was so calm and attentive,” said Carla James, who had brought her dog to play at the park. “When I bring Biscuit here he’s all over the place, barking at people and chewing up his toys. When the owner of that golden retriever with the bandanna told his dog to ‘fetch,’ he just did it immediately. That dog has for sure been through obedience school. And probably a high end one at that. If that family isn’t loaded then I don’t know who is.”

At press time, the bandanna-wearing dog was seen patiently waiting outside of his owner’s BMW, and proceeded to jump in and sit calmly when the door opened. Sources report that the dog didn’t join a group of dogs near the car fighting over a hot dog on the ground, and didn’t even stick his face out of the open car window to bark at nothing as the vehicle pulled away.

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