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During last weekend’s family movie night, Grandpa would not stop pointing out how attractive he found Anya Taylor-Joy.
“I just really appreciate a bombshell who takes the time to cultivate that kind of figure,” said Grandpa, 83, during a particularly juicy montage of Taylor-Joy, 24, working out. “Not that that’s all she is, but that waistline alone deserves an Oscar.”
“The body is one of an actor’s most important professional tools,” added Grandpa after his granddaughters had all scooched to the other side of the couch. “It’s not objectifying—I’m just complimenting a performance that really made me feel something.”
“She’s a bit like a young Judy Garland, but skinnier,” said Grandpa after being jolted awake from a nap by Taylor-Joy’s buttery voice. “I don’t know what they’re feeding girls these days, but holy guacamole, she’s a dish.”
At press time, Grandma kept repeating that Taylor-Joy was showing way too much cleavage and that her shoulder straps were obscene.
