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The Brown Noser

Gravity Is The Real MVP Of This Game By Kevin Durant

Published Friday, December 5th, 2014

Thank you all for being at my press conference today. Before I take any questions, I’d just like to make clear that although the entire team played an incredible game today, I would be nothing without gravity. I can get all the awards in the world, but they mean nothing to me without acknowledging the truly immense role gravity has played in my life.

Gravity was my original coach. I still remember the very first time I touched a basketball. I threw up in the air, and you know what? It came back down again. Do you know why? Because of gravity. Gravity taught me that objects with mass fall back to the earth. That’s a lesson I’ll never forget.

When I was a kid, I had nothing. I could never picture myself standing where I am today. I am a professional basketball player. Honestly, it’s a dream come true. I wish I could say I did it all on my own, but that’s not even remotely true. Gravity was along with me every step of the way. The first time I dunked, gravity brought me back to the ground. If it hadn’t, I’d probably be floating in space somewhere right now.

Beyond how essential gravity was to me becoming a basketball player, it was even more essential to me becoming a man. Gravity was sometimes tough on me, but I knew it always came from a place of love. Even when I was starting to get offers from colleges to play basketball, gravity kept me humble. No matter how many fans would come up to me asking for autographs, gravity always treated me the same.

Not a day goes by when I don’t think about gravity. For example, just the other day I looked out on our packed arena, and just thought to myself, “Wow.” In that moment it occurred to me that without gravity, these 5,000 people wouldn’t be able to stay in their seats. I mean, some of them would if they held on to the armrests tight enough, but some would probably let go and get stuck in the rafters. I thank God that gravity was always around to teach me those sorts of lessons.

I am forever grateful to you. You are a teacher, a natural phenomenon, and, most importantly, a friend. I love you, gravity.

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