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The Brown Noser

Group Hug Abandoned for Intense Round of One-on-One Hugging

Published Friday, September 6th, 2013

On Wednesday, after completing a team building exercise mandated by their superiors, a group of co-workers commenced a group hug, only to abandon it seconds later for an intense round of one-on-one, person-to-person hugging.

Sources involved in the mano-a-mano hug fest reported that the decision to translate the group hug into a more personal, one-to-one series of hugs was spontaneous.

“We all looked at each other and just sort of realized that we needed to connect not as a group, but as individuals,” remarked Alison Pinter. “Then we really just went to town on each other. Hardcore, one-on-one style hugging in rapid succession. It was wild."

After the orgy of arm wrapping and frontal torso brushing otherwise known as single-person hugging concluded, the group returned to their individual stations and continued working.

“We haven’t really talked about it yet,” said Paul Saffert, a participant in what some might call a “one-to-one hugpage,” which is a rampage in which one gives many consecutive one-person hugs in a short period of time.

“Something tells me nothing really needs to be said,” Saffert continued. “It was a beautiful thing. Like when you’re having a sixsome and suddenly everyone realizes they’d actually rather just have sex with one person at a time because that feels more comfortable so you split off into pairs, find a bedroom in the house, and rotate sexual partners every 30 minutes.”

He added, “It was basically just like that but with hugs.”

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