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The Brown Noser

Guinness World Record Holder For Most Apples Crushed With Biceps Doing It All To Win Back Julia

Published Tuesday, October 6th, 2015

When asked on Monday what led him to seek the world record for most apples crushed with biceps, titleholder Joseph Rodriquez responded that it was the possibility of regaining Julia’s love that kept him going.

Rodriquez, who crushed 12 apples with his biceps in one minute, trained for months on end to achieve the one feat that would bring him back into the good graces of the only woman he’s ever loved.

Before settling on apples, Rodriquez thought about crushing a different fruit with his biceps instead. Among those fruits considered were pears, oranges, and kiwis. Ultimately, he decided that apples were the most promising route because they are his true love’s favorite fruit.

“These apples mean nothing to me,” Rodriquez said, crushing apples with his biceps. “The only thing that matters to me is my relationship with Julia. Julia, if you’re reading this, please come back to me. I crushed a dozen apples with my biceps for you.”

Rodriguez added further that whenever he was tempted to slow down he just thought of beautiful Julia’s shining face. The stack of crushed apple cores that seemingly reached to the sky stand as a testament to the depths of Rodriquez’s devotion.

Julia has yet to respond to Rodriquez. Until she does, he plans to continue crushing apples with his biceps until he can beat his own record.

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