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John Prindle, Governor of Maine in the year 1827, is almost entirely sure that the obscure town of Augusta is destined to become the largest, highest-population city in the region.
”Yes sir, this here two-horse town is soon to become a one million horse town, I can just feel it!” said Prindle with ill-placed gusto despite the fact that it was several days’ travel from any of the adjacent towns. “I’d travel a thousand miles to be privy to such economic richness as I know awaits this hallowed land!”
“This adorable little cabin is where the President will stay when he’s visiting the Shining Jewel of the Northeast,” continued Prindle, so drunk on power that he did not stop to think critically about Augusta’s sheer lack of resources, beauty, or overall value as a location. “And one day, when the People of America think of the true center of human progress and innovation, with childlike glee they’ll shout out the glorious name of Augusta, Maine!”
At press time, the guy who picked Boston for Massachusetts’s state capital was being really bashful and humble about it.
