Partly Cloudy, 64°
Local guy, Arnie Bolo, an employee of 18 years at the old cinderblock-eating factory, is starting to question his purpose.
“Every day, it’s the same routine: I get up, I get dressed, and I spend between 8 and 10 hours chewing through cinderblocks,” said Bolo, as a conveyor belt of cinderblocks slowly rolled past like the years passing him by. “To be honest, there are some days when I’m not quite sure why it even matters.”
“You know, there was a time when I was proud to tell people that I ate cinderblocks for a living. I really thought I was living the American Dream,” murmured Bolo wistfully, as he began gorging himself on a cinderblock with frightening efficiency. “But now? It’s just not the same anymore.”
“Sure, I could try getting another job, but who’s gonna hire an old man that’s spent 18 years at the cinderblock-eating factory?” continued Bolo, dabbing his mouth with a napkin to catch leftover crumbs of cinderblock. “Time has passed me by, and cinderblock eating ain’t what it used to be, that’s for sure.”
At press time, those guys that chew up trees to make wood chips are starting to get kinda bored of it.
