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Sources report a hobbit with no practical skills is starting to feel a bit like the diversity hire on a grand quest.
“I’m starting to think they don’t really need me to slay the grand dragon Fordor at the end of our five-year quest,” said Tindle, a four-foot hobbit with no combat, leadership, or medical experience. “I mean, Andle the Great can literally shoot fireballs, dispel curses, and turn all of us invisible. Arathorn can shoot an arrow through a bullseye from 100 meters away while on horseback.”
“I’m just having a hard time seeing what I really bring to the table when it comes to slaying a dragon,” Tindle continued, very loudly practicing walking silently. “It kinda just feels like they had too many elves and humans and needed to look more inclusive. I mean, the best I can offer is squeezing through medium-sized holes.”
At press time, evil henchmen could be seen questioning what their all-powerful evil overlord really needed them for.
