William's articles
Girl carrying a heavy box in public is really worried it will set a precedent moving forward.
“I just don’t want anyone thinking I enjoy it,” said Sheila Ment, lugging a new air purifier from the mail room. “I do this because I have to, y’know.
I know that comparison doesn’t bring true happiness, but I’m pretty sure taking that motherfucker’s jacket by force would put a smile on my face. While you may think that’s violent, I’m not sure if you’ve seen the fit on this one, let alone the detailing.
I hate to say it, but some of y’all wear that Brown merch until it’s colored like a wet and dismal swamp. I really can’t remember the last time I saw some of y’all not decked out in Brown sweatpants so heavily worn that they’re markedly green.
POINT: Tommy’s Got A Terrible Life Altering Concussion by Nurse Lisa
Oh man, Tommy doesn’t look good guys. Looks like they really got him on that last play. Did you see how that dude’s shoulder hit him right on the temple? I think he might really be out of it this time.
BOO! Haha, sorry. You know how I like to joke around sometimes.
“Someone’s gotta lighten the mood, y’know. I just think everyone’s a little tense these days. Let’s loosen up! Someone’s gotta ease the tension!” said David Sterling, frequent reddit user.
Mom is only 45, she should definitely be in the club.
“I’m just too busy helping with the neighborhood kids,” said your mom, packing the minivan full of carpoolers to take to soccer practice, when really, she’s only 45, she should be in the club.
Salem resident Sister Agatha would absolutely float in the local well, says Reverend Samuel Parris. “Oh, she’s lighter than a bag of feathers,” said Parris, summoning a big crowd around the town well to settle this issue once and for all. “There’s no doubt in my mind.
Local Brown student Evan Stevenson has been permanently banned from the one-and-a-half blocks of RISD campus after being spotted wearing his new Apple Airpod Max’s.
“RISD guidelines now state that your headphones must be at least 15 years old and 100% uncomfortable,” Evan reports being told.
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