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The Brown Noser

Hopeful Andrew Yang Repeatedly Checking Email For Brown Guest Lecture Invitation

Published Friday, March 6th, 2020

Eagerly scanning his inbox, a hopeful Andrew Yang ‘96 checked his email once again to see if he’d received an invitation yet to deliver a guest lecture at Brown.

“Oh boy, maybe I’ll finally get one today,” the former Democratic presidential hopeful said, briefly peeking into his spam folder to see if his Gmail was filtering out important messages from the Brown Lecture Board. “I mean, I got closer to the presidency than any Brown alum ever. They must be dying to have me come talk, right?”

Double checking his unopened emails one more time, Yang expressed confidence that his own alma mater would invite him to speak soon.

“They got Joe Biden and Elizabeth Warren to come, so I must be next up on the list,” Yang assured himself, switching tabs to LinkedIn to see if a Brown administrator might be trying to reach him there. “Heck, they even let Jeb Bush give a big lecture. One of these days, they’ll definitely invite me back to talk about my entrepreneurial success, my political experience, and my bold visions for the future of the country. I can just feel it.”

At press time, Yang decided to send another follow-up email to President Christina Paxson just to be safe.

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