Partly Cloudy, 64°
Folks, we need to take it easy on horse girls. I’ve been hearing a lot of unfair things about them from my farm in Wyoming, where I roam with my horse brethren. It’s upsetting; sad little tears gallop down my long snout every time I think about it. Someone has to set the record straight, and as a representative of horses, I want to do my part.
First of all, horses are a great thing to be passionate about. Have you ever seen the dazzling mane of a Clydesdale? The dynamic stride of a mustang? The remarkable chin groove of a Dutch Warmblood? They are all majestic. If you ask me, a horse, it’s no wonder that horse girls love us. Sure, I agree that wearing saddle boots with decorative spurs is a little bit over-the-top. But when you’re hanging out with a creature as sensational as the horse, you need to bring your A-game.
Imagine if we made fun of everyone for following their hobbies the same way we do for horse girls—take me, for example. After a long day of grazing, there’s nothing I love more than kicking back and enjoying a salt lick with all my horse friends. Normal stuff, right? But if I was a horse girl, I would be torn to shreds! People would say all sorts of awful things like “Why are you licking that salt lick?” and “Don’t you know those are for horses?” Terrible. Life would be a living glue factory.
I think it’s time we give horse girls a break, or at least focus on other people with weird interests. Why don’t we make a big deal out of cow boys? Now that sounds pretty silly. Who’s going to get excited about the sturdy frame of a Belted Galloway? No thanks, I’ll stick with good ol’ horses, thank you very much!
