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Sources from Professor Jessie Berridge’s Public Economics class have revealed that their latest midterm contained a hyper-specific word problem that was clearly an attack on a student.
“Jon C. is always raising their hand during class and wasting everyone’s time,” stated the word problem just days after a student, Jonathan Carnash, asked a question four times in one class. “Because Jon C. is a complete idiot, he doesn’t realize that other people actually have stuff they want to learn, and his incessant questions stop anything from getting done. If Jon C.’s time is worth 1¢ per hour (because no one gives a shit about Jon C.), and everyone else in the 63-person class values their time at $150 per hour, what are the externalities of the situation if Jon C.’s questions felt like they went on for 16 hours? What’s the best way we can remedy this situation by making Jon C. shut the fuck up?”
“I use the same word problems every year,” stated Berridge, who had also included a drawing of a person crudely resembling Carnash. “I’m very familiar with Carnash and his questions, but the word problem mirroring his exact behavior is simply an unfortunate coincidence. Carnash is a student in my class that I respect just as much as all the other students."
At press time, a student’s final project on the idiocy of academia was clearly a direct attack on the professor.
