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Recent reports state that notorious hypochondriac Emily Williams should probably get that thing checked out.
“My throat has been feeling a little scratchy, maybe I should go to the doctor,” said Williams, unaware that whatever thing she’s got is probably getting worse by the day.
“Do you think this is normal?” asked Williams, investigating an oblong freckle on the inside of her left arm. “I don’t think it was there before, but maybe I’m just crazy,” she said, unwittingly pointing out an early symptom of the Bubonic plague.
“I just have this tickle in my nose, and then also my arm hurts, but only when I stretch it all the way,” added Williams, who likely only has one month to live. “And I also sometimes get headaches, and I just feel like I’m getting this rash all of a sudden. You can’t see it, but I can feel that it’s there. I should probably get checked out, right?” she asked, not realizing that she definitely has late-stage rabies and should have gone to the ER weeks ago.
“Maybe I should Google my symptoms," said Williams, who would soon discover that she probably has cancer of the uvula, scarlet fever, and Benjamin Button’s Disease. “I’m sure this Reddit thread with provide me with some reliable medical information.”
At press time, Williams had begun to draft her will after visiting WebMD.
