Monday, October 26, 2020
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The Brown Noser

“I Just Can’t Focus During Zoom Classes,” Reports Area Woman Who Spent All In-Person Lectures On Facebook

Published Friday, September 25th, 2020

Area woman Andrea Waddell, who spent all her in-person lectures last year scrolling through Facebook, reported that she has struggled with a total lack of focus during her Zoom classes.

“It’s not healthy to be looking at a screen for that long,” Waddell said, ignoring the fact that she stared at her laptop screen nonstop during all classes she attended before the pandemic began. “I get so restless. Even if I tried, I could not understand a word the professor is saying.”

“None of my professors know how to engage students online at all,” Waddell added, acting as if she did not spend all of last fall’s Principles of Econ lectures RSVPing “interested” to Facebook events. “I want to learn, but it’s impossible in these crazy times.”

“I would participate in my seminars, but it’s hard to figure out when to unmute yourself,” Waddell continued, even though she almost never spoke during her in-person English seminar last year. “Sometimes I have a lot of background noise in my house, so it’s easier for everyone if I just don’t talk.”

“I guess it’s just difficult for me to learn anything at all online,” Waddell lamented, failing to mention that she used YouTube videos to study for all of her finals last year. “I have no idea how I’ll manage this semester.”

At press time, Waddell complained that she couldn’t meet any new people this semester even though she’s only ever hung out with her freshman year hallmates.

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