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The Brown Noser

If I Saw A $100 Bill On The Ground, I Would Stop To Pick It Up, Then Roll It Into A Blunt And Smoke It By Bill Gates

Published Friday, December 9th, 2016

A question I’m often asked is “Bill, if you were walking down the street and saw a $100 bill on the ground, would you stop to pick it up?” My answer to that is as wealthy as I am, I was raised in a time where a hundred bucks was a lot of money, so of course, I would pick it up and use it as rolling paper.

Obviously I would pick the money up because if there’s one thing you need to know about me is that I love to smoke pot. I smoke a lot. Another thing that you need to know about me is, since I broke my bong, I only smoke jays. Anytime I see any piece of paper I think to myself, “Could I turn this into a fat blunt?” A $100 bill is no different.

I’ve heard all the statistics before, and I technically make over $100 a second, so it would actually be a waste of time for me to bend down and take the bill. What people don’t realize is that I’m a pothead and I look for creative ways to get high.

Say I’m hanging out in the park with my wife, and out of the corner of my eye, I spot a fresh hundred dollar bill. My only concern with lighting up a hundred bucks would be that the paper’s too thick for it to properly catch. I want a cherry joint, you know?

Listen, I hope I didn’t shatter all your preconceived notions about the type of person Bill Gates is, but if I did, I don’t honestly care. I’m high right now.

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