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The Brown Noser

Jo’s Really Milking Those Three Tiny Burners In The Corner

Published Friday, April 19th, 2019

Jo’s is really milking those three tiny burners in the corner, sources reported.

“Those burners are so small,” said freshman Maya Curry. “It’s honestly inspiring how much use they get out of them. Dumplings, pasta, you name it. No one asked for this, but for some reason they’re pulling out all the stops with this ‘Three Burners’ thing."

Curry emphasized that the versatility of the three mini burners has been proven time and time again.

“There have been times when I see about 10 workers crammed in that tiny space, all completing a different task," Curry said, admiring their hard work. “One chops the vegetables, one minces the garlic, one grates the cheese, another garnishes each dish with a tiny sprig of parsley… All over these three tiny electric burners.”

“They even change what they’re serving every single day,” Curry added. "The burners have no time to even acclimate to what these chefs are putting them through.”

At press time, an especially zealous chef was making a tiny volcano out of onions on one of the burners.

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