According to reports from the Donnelly household, 10-year-old daughter Kelsey’s birthday party better be a real rager to get Mom and Dad back together.
“Today’s gonna be so awesome!” said Kelsey after returning home from a four-hour child custody hearing. “We’re gonna have so much fun, and then Mom and Dad will get married again because they’re having so much fun!”
“With a party as awesome as this, I don’t see how they could stay mad at each other!” continued Kelsey, implying that a Moana-themed bouncy castle and colorful frosted cupcakes would be enough for Mom and Dad to forget six months of messy divorce proceedings. “I’ll even let them have an extra slice of my ice cream cake if they promise to stay together forever and ever!”
“I think Mom and Dad just need a bit more time together, and then they’ll realize how much happier they’d be if they stay married!” added Kelsey with a cheery youthful optimism that almost drowned out the muffled sounds of her parents arguing in the car. “I bet Dad’s new lady friend would be super duper happy to hear about that!”
At press time, Kelsey might even get her dog that went to the farm upstate back, but only if she keeps behaving herself.

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