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The Brown Noser

Kids These Days Don't Appreciate Bob Dylan By An Egyptian Man in 50 B.C.

Published Friday, September 6th, 2013

I’m ashamed to say it, but my kids don’t know who Bob Dylan is. Have I failed as a father? As a mentor? If it were just my kids, sure, but it’s their whole generation. In fact, I’d venture to say there’s not one teenager today who truly understands “Blood On The Tracks.”

Kids these days in 50 B.C. Egypt just don’t appreciate Bob Dylan.

Today’s teens are just too busy with the annual flooding of the Nile river to sit down and listen to classic, genre-defining folk, it seems. Are they too busy working in the fields and starting a family to dig into a little “Tangled Up In Blue” from time to time? We’re talking about a real music legend here. Just because he’s not part of their generation doesn’t mean he doesn’t have something important to say to them.

I mean, come on. “Subterranean Homesick Blues?” If there ever was an evergreen tune, that’s the one.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. I’m just a middle-aged man in Egypt in the year 50 B.C. with an axe to grind. But it’s about more than that. Sure, kids these days have their own music. But their own Bob Dylan? I doubt it. After all, young people today can’t even record music, so the widespread fame of one musician seems highly unlikely.

Can the simple songs of today’s youth even be called music? Compared to Dylan’s lyrical poetry and heart-wrenching vocals, that lute crap my son listens to is just noise.

And it’s not just Dylan. This generation is missing out on all the greats. I have yet to find a young person, slave or pharaoh, that has listened to Nick Drake. Sure, some kids have heard of the Beatles, but most don’t even know they’re a band. And you’d be hard pressed to find a first century B.C. Egyptian kid who could even hum the chorus of “Let It Be.”

It’s a damn shame that young people today won’t just sit down and listen to a record all the way through. They’re used to different technology. In fact, most kids today have never even seen a record player, let alone used one. They’re too preoccupied with their harps and lyres. I bet half of these youngsters couldn’t figure out how to play a record if you put it right in front of them!

Now, I don’t mean to put today’s youth down. They work hard and they’ve helped make Egypt the thriving civilization it is. But I worry that this generation is missing out on a true poet, someone who really speaks to the human condition. The kids of 50 B.C. Egypt could learn a thing or two from Bob Dylan.

Oh, and if you’re interested in time travel, I would be the person to talk to about that.

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