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The Brown Noser

Lacrosse Team Declares Beginning Of 14-Day “Loud Period”

Published Friday, October 30th, 2020

Following the conclusion of the quiet period last month, the varsity lacrosse team has announced the beginning of a 14-day “loud period,” according to a team statement.

“Lacrosse players won’t be permitted to go a single day without shotgunning a brewsky while in Phase 1,” explained team captain Daniel Leges in an email. “Once we are assured our metrics are holding steady, we can move our community to Phase 2 and open up giant mosh pits.”

“The lacrosse team urges all community members to continue to practice good public rager guidelines, including handwashing after vomiting and sanitizing all cups before and after each round of stack cup,” the email continued. “We must learn from the experiences of other schools who let down their guard and allowed the global pandemic to ruin the party.”

At press time, the contemplative studies department was announcing their upcoming “silent period.”

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