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The Brown Noser

Laptop Stickers Weave Compelling Narrative Of Owner’s Deepest Desires, Inner-Most Fears

Published Friday, December 7th, 2018

Numerous classmates reported that Sophomore Jonathan Amon’s laptop stickers wove a compelling narrative of his deepest desires and inner-most fears.

“Those stickers told me everything I could ever know about Jonathan,” said Casie Short, as she walked by Amon in the Blue Room. “His laptop shows the whole world what he loves, dreads, and wishes to be. Those stickers are a window into his life.”

“He had a Nitro Cart sticker, a Dave’s Coffee sticker, and an Underground sticker too," remarked Short. “All that caffeine must drive his insatiable desire to reach the top. Also, look at that sticker that says, ‘Dwight, you ignorant slut.’ Now the world knows that Jonathan constantly seeks the approval of his superiors, driving them away in the process.”

At press time, Amon affixed a Hamilton sticker to his computer, revealing to the world what exactly kept him up at night and got him out of bed in the morning.

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