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The Brown Noser

Lazy Professor Waits Till Night Before To Write Entire Final Exam

Published Friday, December 7th, 2018

Putting the limits of his procrastination to the ultimate test, Professor Adlai Woodsworth pushed off writing the final exam for his class until the last night before the test date.

“Shit,” Woodsworth said while staring at an empty Word document at 11:30pm, trying to write an exam scheduled for 9am the following morning. “Shit, shit, shit. I’ve really screwed myself over this time. How am I supposed to write enough questions for an entire 3-hour final exam in just one night?”

Rubbing his temples while struggling to keep himself from getting distracted by his Twitter feed, Woodsworth began to seriously regret leaving himself so little time to write the final exam he’d have to administer the next day.

“If I stay up all night writing this damn test, I’ll hardly be able to stay awake while I’m proctoring the exam in the morning,” Woodsworth groaned, retyping the title of the exam for the fourth time to get his juices flowing. “I might even oversleep and miss the testing period altogether. I can’t imagine putting so much work into teaching this class all semester long and then not even giving a final exam. Ugh, my students would be so disappointed in me!”

After a few more hours of severe writer’s block, Woodsworth swallowed his pride and typed out an email to his students begging for a last-minute extension on their final exam.

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