Brett Bradenton, member of local Sigma Delta Phi fraternity chapter, has reportedly been spotted stuffing his cheeks with Zyns like a desperate chipmunk preparing for a rough and harrowing winter.

“Bro is like a Zyn god. Rippin’ upper decky lip pillows always,” fellow brother and Zynthusiast Jacob “Jake” Jacobson said. “But I don’t think he knows that they don’t, like, stop selling Zyn in the winter. He went from, like, Zyn Disel to, like, Alzyn and the Chipmunks.”

“I don’t know man, we’re all getting a little worried about him,” stated brother T.J. Adams. “He’s been scampering around when we’re trying to have a darty, and, like, there’s all these little holes in the yard from him burying Zynachinos everywhere. I think he’s trying to become a Zynfluencer or something.”

“Mmmph mhphm mmmphh,” said Bradenton when asked for comment, gesturing toward his eight-foot tall tower of discarded Zyn tins. “Mmmmph mmph mm hmmm mph mhmm mmph mmmmmph mph.”

At press time, the frat’s DJ was flicking his hand at the crowd like a bird performing a mating dance.

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