Partly Cloudy, 64°
Sources indicate that local man Tyler Cohen, member of a two-person horse costume, is really hoping for a threesome at this Halloween party.
“You know, I didn’t really realize how this might impede my chances at getting laid tonight,” said Cohen, who had drawn the short straw and ended up as the horse’s hind legs. “I can’t even see what’s going on out there or who we’re talking to.”
“I’m really trusting Brandon to get the job done,” said Cohen, who inferred that the conversation was going well from the muffled laughter outside the costume. “He’s always been the smooth-talker, so I guess it’s good that he’s representing us out there. I hope he tells them I’m cute.”
“Is it just me, or is it getting hot in here?” asked Cohen from within the heavily-insulated costume. “Remember, Brandon, we’re in this together.”
At press time, a horse dressed as two men was hoping that no one would notice.
