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The Brown Noser

Man Who Had A “Good Day” Must Not Have Contemplated His Own Mortality

Published Friday, May 3rd, 2024

As Jordan Whittaker strolled down the street with a big smile on his face, it was evident that he had not been contemplating his own mortality.

“I think I’ll pay it forward for the next customer in line,” Jordan told the cashier at Starbucks, not even considering that his unavoidable death was fast approaching and all of his life’s accomplishments would be forgotten within a few decades. “Yeah, it’s just one of those days. Gotta spread the joy, huh?” Jordan beamed as he sipped on his coffee and made plans for the next day, despite the brutal reality that he and all of his friends and family would eventually perish.

“I’m glad I came to the park today. Nature is a beautiful thing,” Jordan murmured while onlookers inferred from the pep in his step that he was not pondering his inevitable demise. “I think I’ll volunteer at the animal shelter tomorrow,” Jordan thought to himself as his pleasant demeanor revealed that he was not weighing the fragile impermanence of his very being.

At press time, Jordan was making plans to catch up with some old friends even though the sun is going to explode in 5 billion years.

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