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The Brown Noser

Matthew McConaughey Lincoln Commercials Snubbed Again This Awards Season

Published Friday, December 6th, 2019

After a weak showing at the Oscars, Matthew McConaughey’s Lincoln commercials have officially been shut out this awards season.

“I’m shocked the pieces didn’t get the recognition they so deeply deserve,” stated film editor for the New York Times, Clive Masterson, in response to the snub. “Watching McConaughey at play is truly awe-inspiring. I’ve never been so moved by a commercial that I began to weep, but that’s exactly what happened when I watched Matthew slowly wave his fingers and mumble deep, incoherent thoughts into the night. It was pure, cinematic magic.”

McConaughey’s latest installment features him driving a Lincoln MKZ through a twilit, mountain overpass. He goes on to park the car on a shoulder overlooking a scenic view of the city, and gets out in order to stare off into the distance while pondering his fleeting mortality, all in complete silence.

The commercials are the work of celebrated Italian director Gianni Montalbano. When asked for comment, Montalbano stated, “When Lincoln asked me to help them sell cars, I laughed. I do not sell cars – I sell dreams. That dream is attending a formal dinner party, only to leave early and drive away in a midsize, luxury SUV. If the Academy doesn’t share this dream, I pity them.”

In an upset victory, the Academy instead awarded the Oscar to Shaq’s Icy Hot commercial.

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