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Experts have confirmed that the Missouri Police Department has replaced Russia as the world’s second-most powerful military force behind the United States.
The state’s law enforcement division boasts a cadre of policemen and women who are trained with assault rifles, grenade launchers and armored vehicles. Experts say that the police force’s immense power is no surprise, noting that the police have long been obtaining surplus weapons from the world’s most powerful military through a federal program.
“It’s good to know that we’re able to defend ourselves,” said St. Louis police officer Daniel Kurland, referring to the peaceful protestors and unarmed pedestrians the Missouri Police Department has successfully defended themselves from.
“Our officers are able to arm themselves with any number of M16 automatic rifles, bayonets and scabbards,” said St. Ann police chief Aaron Jiminez. “Because of these resources, our men and women are able to protect themselves against anyone who may or have committed a minor infraction.”
“Or against completely innocent and nonthreatening citizens,” added Jiminez.
Military experts report that the state of 6 million’s police department is well prepared to fight major world powers such as Russia, Germany, and it’s own people, citing the department’s liberal use of automatic weapons, tear gas, and officers dressed in full combat gear. Experts note that the Missouri Police Department’s military power is well-distributed throughout the state, so that even police men in small towns are able to defend themselves with immense force.
Jiminez emphasized that the police department’s real strength lies not in its equipment but in the mindset of its police force. “They are trained to easily identify their target,” said Jiminez. “We have not been wrong yet.”
