Monday, March 8, 2021
Partly Cloudy icon Partly Cloudy, 64°

The Brown Noser

Mop Waiting For Day It’ll Be Brought Out And Danced With Like A Girl

Published Friday, April 25th, 2014

Sources inside the Riggs family’s bathroom closet confirm that the Riggs’ mop is waiting patiently for the day it will be brought out of the closet and danced with like a girl as part of someone’s delusion about dancing with a real girl.

“My day-to-day is a lot of getting dunked in water and sliding around on the floor,” said the mop, which had yet to fulfill its ultimate fantasy of becoming a part of a lovelorn man’s fantasy and getting to dance around the living room when no one else is home.

“It’s not that I don’t enjoy cleaning. I am a mop, after all. But I’ve always wanted to get dipped and twirled like a real lady,” said the mop.

Though, on occasion, the mop has been brought out of the closet and ridden like a horse by the youngest Riggs child, the mop is still holding out for the day when one of the Riggs boys, or even Mr. Riggs, will pretend he’s dancing with the prettiest girl in the room with the mop.

The mop, which emphasized that it has plenty of hair-like material on its head, noted that it often thought about how the scene might play out. “He’d put a little music on, start dancing, and before you know it, he’s thinking about dancing with that pretty girl he likes so much,” said the mop. “That’s where I come in. He’d take me out of this dingy closet and sway me gently, just like a girl.”

“Who knows?” the mop added. "He might get really caught up in the moment and give me a kiss.”

Article tools

Search The Brown Noser

  • Loading…