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The Brown Noser

NSA Analyst Touches Earpiece Again

Published Friday, September 17th, 2021

Claiming she’s received “urgent intel,” experienced NSA analyst Jeanette Davis has reportedly touched her earpiece again.

“I was asking Jeanette about her son, and she was telling me about his science fair project and soccer team and stuff, and then, out of nowhere, she touched her earpiece and started, like, murmuring to it,” Davis’ colleague Brian Jones said, ignoring Davis’ assurances that her earpiece was the only thing that kept her sane on overseas missions. “I’m pretty sure there wasn’t even a person on the other end.”

According to sources close to Davis, when she’s not touching her earpiece, she is “totally normal." Still, she often distracts coworkers with her frequent and frantic taps.

“I don’t even think it’s a real earpiece," Jones said as Davis whispered to the earpiece it “better wipe that look off its face, missy.” “We don’t really wear them unless we’re on some special, confidential assignment or something. Her relationship with it is sort of concerning — she’s like an overbearing mom.”

At press time, Davis was seen letting one of her investigations get way too personal.

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